Lots of guys who are learning how to approach a woman complain that they don’t have time. While this may be true, especially with some of the busy schedules people have these days, there are always a couple of hours out of the day that you can carve out for making approaches.
When guys tell me that they just truly don’t have the time, it’s usually a sign that they suffer from approach anxiety. Approach anxiety falls into a couple of different categories. It could be physical – your palm sweats, your heart races, your heart gets crazy. This is a physical problem and you should see a doctor. They have treatments that can make you much more relaxed.
If you don’t have physical symptoms – you get butterflies in your stomach or feel like you can’t walk, etc. – then your approach anxiety is something you can totally deal with it.
The treatment for this is physical movement plus mental reframing. This means that you need to reframe the way you look at approaching. You need to maybe get more warmed up before you start your set. Approach anxiety is really easy to treat but you just have to confront it.
There’s another reason that lots of guys don’t approach. This is what I call ‘half-stepping.’ A guy who is half-stepping will go out on Friday night to do some approaches. He’ll go to the bar with some friends and they’ll sit around with each other. If they’re all in the pick up community, they’ll talk about pick up all night. The guy will stick with his friends and at about 12:30 or 1:00, he’ll decide to say something to one girl or he hangs by the bar and says something to a girl that’s walking by. And that’s his night of making approaches.
Now, this is the worst reason because it’s all about self-delusion. He thinks he’s been out making approaches but he actually hasn’t even talked to one girl. You can’t be stationary and just talk to people walking by because that’s not approaching.
Why do guys do this? It could be laziness or some deep inner approach anxiety. It’s also the easy way out. You feel like you did something without taking any of the risks. So, if you want to learn how to approach a woman, fight the laziness and put your heart into it. You have to just accept that it’s going to take some work to learn your game.